I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize