it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
do herpes really smell.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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