I hate your face
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.