sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.