She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
