i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
