Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
