Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
