Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
