dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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