bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
