come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
