Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
