he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
