dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
