I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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