Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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