How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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