So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
