this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
