you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize