I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
