stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
