Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
