You can't motorboat a personality
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
