you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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