That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize