Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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