WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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