there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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