Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Shame is for Republicans.
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