My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
