There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
