it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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