He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
are you so shy because you have an std?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
