somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize