Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
