I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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