I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
ttyl tear gas
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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