I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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