y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
