We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
