The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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