You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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