pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
