YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
