Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
