My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh god it's open bar.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize