So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
