I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why do cheetos always look like penises
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
