Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize