Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
