so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.