somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
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i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??