who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.