mondays should just be called national damage control day
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize