Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize