The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
