instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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